I'm done.

1. Whoa, this place changed around some since my last visit, however long ago that was!
2. I'm not going to delete my over dramatic pleas of what-the-fuck-ever I was over dramatically crying about.
3. I'm done. I'm done trying, I'm done sticking up for your actions, I'm done saying nice things about you when everyone else tells me otherwise, I'm done letting your opinion of me get to me, I'm done caring about you, I'm done done done. Even if you ever talk to me again I will not trust you enough to open up. I'm done blaming myself.

Meh.

Um...say what?

So I learned recently that my uncle is moving in here! Ugh...as if we don't have enough people living here, there is going to be another. And he's such a SLOB, too. I hate how my mom goes "you're old enough to be on your own" then a week later tells me my UNCLE who's in his late 20's is moving in!! Hmmm...this should be interesting.

I went to the park.

Sight- bikes, grass, children, basketball courts, a slide, green park benches, trees, garbage cans, baseball diamond, fence, a man(a dad), boys, girls, wood chips, young teens, a stop sign, a camera, cigarette, wrapers, bleachers, the moon, clouds, parking lot, baseball gloves, a ball, cars, houses, doors, the sun, swings, running, a small dog, street lights (off), dirt, trucks, red shirt, black hoodie.

Hear- Church bells, children, the squeak of a swing, talking, kids going "woo," children yelling, motor cycles, crying, barking, a ball hitting a metal bat, police sirens, laughing, "Crystal try to get me!" "I'm going to steal your boat (or gold?)!" plastic bag, feet hitting the pavement, birds.

Smell- cook out, air, wood, (at home-pop corn, warmth)

Feel- Hardness, wind, stiff, itchyness, wet, cold, metal, soft, tingle of my foot waking up, pain, paper, (at home- warm)

Taste- air, metal(from my pen)


There is a reason for this....

I'm done being happy for people.

For serious. I don't know how many people I've told "i'm so happy for you!" and meant every single one...when something good happened in their life...and not a single one of the people I was so happy for since the new year has said anything remotely close to me.

What's the point of caring for people when nobody cares about me?
Why do I listen to people's problems, yet feel sooooo guilty making them listen to mine?
peh...

Your problems aren't more "problemful" then mine...not saying mine are more "problemful" then anyone else...but meh... whatever really.
Actually, sometimes, my problems are more problemfull and stressful, but I don't bitch to everyone and anyone who will listen to them... I just write them down some place, or vent to a (as in ONE) friend who I know won't mind listening to me, because I listen to him....It's weird..I have only met him once, and talked to him online for a year before I met him...

ON a better note, Donald found his Three Days Grace CD...yay! (I'm listening to it for the second time in a row right now)

Oh, also on a better note, in case you didn't know by now.. I got a job, again.. working at copying medical records...making good money..which i hope to be able to save up fast. ...but I don't know for what right now.. first clothes I guess.. to "Adult" up my clothing...